How a car changes a life
by Funnysfun
Summary: Inspired by the promo trailer for season 8 on the CBS homepage. The team has found Sara. But what will happen after this? CS, femslash
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: CSI belongs to Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. **

**A/N: This story is inspired by the season 8 promo-trailer, posted on the CBS homepage. Big thanks to chimp1984 for making me aware about it! Now enjoy the story! **

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Catherine sat in the hospital for hours by now. How long ago her last sleep had been, she couldn't tell anyone. Relieve has flooded everybody of the team as they finally managed to rescue Sara from under that car. She was more than half drowned, badly injured and unconscious, but still alive. They brought her to the hospital and the doctors told them after nerve-ruining hours that she would make it. Sara was still unconscious and they couldn't tell when she would wake up, if she would be the same or if she would have permanent damages from the incident. Only one person was allowed to stay with her and the team had chosen Catherine. Of course, after they all had gotten to know that Sara and Grissom have a relationship it would have normally been Grissom who should stay. But he said he couldn't do it. 

"I can not stand to see her that way, Catherine." he told her, after he had taken a short look upon her features. "I couldn't manage to save her, rescue her earlier. I couldn't protect her from this. She needs comfort now and I think I can not give her this enough anymore." He seemed kind of broken and exhausted. Everybody was tired.

Those were the last words the team heard from Grissom this day. He disappeared from the hospital without looking back. Catherine believed she saw tears glistening in his eyes as he turned around to go. _'Perhaps he feels as if he has failed her.'_, Catherine thought as she stepped into Sara's room.

The brunette, who normally seemed so full of strength, looked fragile now. Her skin was as white as the hospital-sheets and as the blond touched her hand it still felt as cold as ice. It has been the same way when they fished her out of the water from under the car earlier.

"Couldn't they warm you up somehow?" Catherine muttered under her breath as she sad down on a chair beside Sara's bed. The guys had offered to inform Lindsey about the latest events and bring her with them later. They all needed time to rest. Catherine felt also tired, but there was something inside her, that forced her to stay awake. Responsibility for her colleague and friend, plus a deep caring. She couldn't let Sara go trough this alone. She wanted to be with her when Sara opened her eyes again, those deep brown ones in which she could lose herself so easily.

Now those eyes were closed, over Sara's nose was a mask giving her oxygen. Her features seemed peaceful, as if she were asleep. No signs from the latest events were showing in them, no fear, only some scratches and bruises which the doctors and nurses had already treated. To her hand attached was a tube, which supplied the brunette with medicine. The only sound in the whole room was the light beeping of the heart-rate monitor and the even quieter breathing of the two women.

Catherine took hold of Sara's hand and hoped that this would show her, that she wasn't alone and that she could somehow give her some strength to wake up soon. "We need you, Sara." she told her friend and colleague. _'And I need you too.'_ she added in her thoughts, not knowing where that one came from. The doctors said her chances to recover fully would be the best when she wakes up soon. A long phase of unconsciousness indicates that there could be much more damage which the body can not repair, even damage of the brain.

The blond yawned and made herself as much comfortable as possible on the chair beside the bed, still holding the brunettes hand. The time went by and Catherine was finally lulled into sleep by the steady rhythm of the noises in the room.

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**Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I feel very honoured by the reviews! Didn't imagine getting such a great feedback! Thanks to everyone, this is very encouraging, also the new inspiration I have gotten from you! Now enjoy the next chapter. **

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Catherine woke up by her senses telling her something was going on. She opened her eyes and tried to figure out what had alarmed her. Taking in her surroundings she noticed at first two things: Sara's face had gotten colour again and her hand, which the blond was still holding, felt warm. Looking down she saw and felt something she almost couldn't believe. The finger of Sara's hand were moving lightly and tracing above her skin. And than she saw what has woken her. There was also a light twitching in the leg on which Cath's head had sunken while she rested. _'Am I still dreaming?'_ Catherine thought as she stood up. No, she couldn't! Her back was hurting like hell from the chair she had been sleeping on. 

The fingers now squeezed her hand and looking in the brunettes face, Catherine could see how Sara's eyes slowly fluttered open. Brown orbs needed time to focus, but finally they settled upon the blond.

XXX

For Sara, her surroundings were at first a blur. There was bright light, a disturbing noise and she didn't know were she was. Her eyelids felt heavy. It was hard to focus on something, because she felt pain in almost every part of her body. What had happened? Then she remembered the car, the water, the fear.

From the back of her brain she sensed something warm in her hand. Focusing on it she recognised it: Skin. Somebody was there, with her in, what she hoped to be, a hospital; although she didn't like them very much, but there were situations for which she was grateful they existed. She tried to gather more information. Her ears told her, there was now another noise, a voice. She couldn't make out the words in the moment, but she knew the voice. Her nose took in a sense she recognised too. Her mind was finally able to put the pieces together. Catherine was with her. At this point her eyes had managed to show everything clearer and they proved her brains result. Catherine was standing beside her and her lips were moving. Besides that she was feeling like shit and was tired as hell, her curious mind could slowly make out what the blond was saying.

XXX

"Sara. Please, Sara, open your eyes... Sara, ….oh my god!...Sara, can you hear me?" Catherine felt shocked and relieved at the same time. The joy, which overtook her heart by seeing how those brown eyes settled upon her, was overwhelming. There couldn't be something more beautiful in the world for her in this moment. Tears were starting to form in the blonds blue eyes.

The other woman's mouth began to move and her free hand put the mask from her nose. It took her a few tries and she needed to swallow a couple of times until she brought out one word: "Hey." Sara's voice sounded heavy from exhaustion and also light. It was only a whisper, but enough for Catherine to pull her out of her shock-state. She reached down and hugged Sara carefully. "Hey." Now her tears started to fall. "It's so good to have you back."

A moan of pain from Sara caused her to pull back and let the brunette down onto the cushions. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to cause you pain." Catherine excused herself. But on Sara's face was a light smile. It felt good to know how much the blond cared about her.

"You should put this back on." The blond had shifted into mother-mode and placed the mask back over Sara's mouth and nose, while smiling at her. Sara was about to complain. This item was very disturbing for her, but she couldn't manage to do anything. She was so tired. And as she saw Catherine whipping away the streams from her tears she gave in completely.

For some minutes there was silence between the two women, only the heart-rate monitor was making his steady noise. The older CSI looked on her watch and gasped. "Oh my, I didn't imagine that I could sleep three hours in that chair!" She shook her head and court Sara raising an eyebrow in question.

"What do you want to know?", the blond asked a bit irritated.

Sara removed once again the mask. "You didn't fall asleep upon me, did you?"

Catherine blinked a few times, puzzlement washing over her. "I must have fallen on the bed while I slept. At least, that's how I woke up.", she answered hesitantly.

A knowing smile crept upon the other woman's lips. "Ah, that's why my leg fell asleep too.", she explained while rubbing the limp.

"I'm so sorry, Sara. I didn't want that. It happened without my knowing. I'm sorry." The blond was visibly startled by the news.

Sara managed a light giggle. "Cath, cool down. It is ok." She winced. The new move reminded her of another feeling inside her. "Could you get a doctor here, please? I think I need something against the pain."

Catherine, still a bit embarrassed, nodded and hurried from the room. "Yeah, sure. I will be right back with someone."

The brunette looked a bit amused after the retreating form of her colleague. As the door closed, her mind was suddenly taken to other thoughts. How bad was her current condition? Would she be able to recover fully? And the second most important question for her in this moment: Where the hell was Grissom?

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**Thank you for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Again, thank you to everyone who reviewed or read the story! But before we start with the next on I would like to mention a few things:**

**Kirky123: **Now I have managed to put it in. Thanks again for the inspiration!

**lanti: **Thank you. As I'm not the type who let's something unfinished, I doubt that the season start will make me quit writing the story. So you don't need to worry. :-)

**chimp1984: **I'm happy that I made you laugh! I will try to do it again. But it will take Sara and Catherine some time to realise who they really love. So you will need to have a bit patience.

**iluvdarts: **Thank you. I hope you like the next events.

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Sara had not much time to hang onto her worries. After a couple of minutes the door was opened and a doctor made her way to the CSI's bed, a nurse and Catherine in tow. Before the man in white closes was able to say a single word, Sara had made eye-contact with her colleague and spoke aloud the question which had occupied her mind lately: "Catherine, where is Grissom?"

The other woman didn't know how to answer this. "At home, …I think." She said carefully, but added fast: "I will call him. Don't worry; he will be here as soon as possible." Once again the blond CSI hurried from the room. She had caught Sara's shocked face and had also the feeling that there was hurt in the brunette's eyes. _'Oh Gil, I hope you can explain your reasons to her.'_ she thought as she made her way to the next phone.

XXX

Grissom had finally managed to go to sleep. Although he was completely exhausted, he had spent the most time turning restlessly around in his bed. Thoughts were occupying his mind and they were not the best. Fear was running through his veins, controlling his brain with strange fantasies.

On his inner eye he saw Sara, how they had pulled her barely alive out of the water, how she looked on the hospital bed. Would she have looked the same way on an autopsy table, if they hadn't been successful? Of course, he knew how a lifeless body felt, but he wondered if Sara's would feel the same? The strangest thing was that he kept asking himself, if he could have managed to find her earlier, if he hadn't lost time again and again with worrying thoughts about his girlfriend.

Girlfriend. It still felt strange to call her that. They had danced around the attraction for each other for years until they had finally decided to give it a try. He had decided to stop pushing her away and letting her get near. After he had made up his mind it had all gone so easy. Their minds had always worked so fine together while on work. So it was not a big surprise for them that they understood what the other one wanted without talking. Sara had never been a very talkative person, he wasn't either. He knew her better than anyone, she had confessed to him about her childhood and her problems with dealing with the past. There was trust between them and their brains were working on the same wavelength. Everything was fitting together.

But now he felt as if he had failed her, wasn't worthy anymore to deserve these trust. While being under this car, she must have built her hope on him to find her. To find her soon enough to get out of it unharmed. Soon enough to survive it. Sure, she would survive it, but unharmed? That was the question and he was going mad about it. Could he stand it when she wouldn't get completely well again?

He was supposed to protect her from harm. But he hadn't done that. He should have never let it happen. He should have taken more care about her, kept an eye on her. He should have prevented that Sara had ended under this car. He should have found out earlier who the miniature-killer was. They could have worked and tried harder, faster. They could have arrested her earlier, so nothing of this would have ever happened. He could have done it. He could have protected her, but he had failed.

And there was another train of thoughts haunting him. What did it say about his professionalism that he had wasted time with worries, instead of doing everything he could to find her as soon as possible? Such as the team had done many times before, for example as they were searching for Nick. Staying cool and professional was hard for him when it came to Sara in danger. And that wasn't something good for him, for his job. He was the teams supervisor, he was supposed to have a clear head all the time, especially when the earth was burning. These feelings for Sara were throwing his thoughts in disorder. And that was the reason why he hadn't been able to work properly, why he hadn't fount her earlier, why he had risked her wellbeing. And how could you trust somebody who jeopardises your wellbeing? No, he wasn't worthy anymore to get called Sara's boyfriend. She wouldn't be able to trust him again as she had done before.

He had failed her and he thought he had lost her now. He asked himself what was more painful: To loose her because he hadn't rescued her, or because he had rescued her?

In the end he had lulled himself in with the comforting thought, that he would still have a chance with her, because their love was strong enough to get them through this crisis. And he had taken the help of a drink to stop his busy mind.

The ringing of his cell phone ripped him out of the little sleep he had gotten. Looking on his clock, he realised, that it had only been half an hour. Taking the item in his hand he answered it. "Grissom."

"_Gil, here's Catherine. Sara has woken up and...and she asked for you." _The blond CSI was surprised how bad it felt to say the last words._ "Can you come to the hospital now? I think it matters very much to her." _These words were almost hurting for the blond.

Grissom was surprised too. A happy feeling began to rise inside of him. Perhaps his comforting thoughts were more than only a tool to get some sleep.

"Yes Catherine. I'm on my way. I'll be there in 30 minutes." He hung up after saying a quick goodbye to his colleague, hurried into the bathroom for a fast shower and within minutes he was on the road towards Sara.

XXX

Meanwhile at the hospital the doctor had done a short examination of Sara and begun to fill her in about her condition, while the nurse had given her some pain-killers.

"Well Ms. Sidle, by now it looks as if you will be as good as new in a few weeks. We will make some test later to confirm it, but at first you should get more rest. You're having a light concussion, three broken rips and multiple bruises all over your body. Bad were only the inner bleedings. But we were able to repair them. Your lung sounds fine by now. Tomorrow you won't need the oxygen anymore." The brunette woman smiled happily. After all this sounded not so bad.

"The only thing we are quite not sure about and what makes us worry is the baby." Sara felt the blood drown from her face.

"The b…baby?" She blinked. "I'm pregnant?"

The man in white closes was surprised. "You mean you didn't know that you are going to have a child? Well,…then congratulations!" he added cheerfully.

Sara stared at him, not quite believing what she had heard. "Thanks.", was all she could muster to say.

"I'm surprised that you haven't noticed it yet. You are in the seventh week. Where did I left of?" The doctor scratched his head and carried on with his explanations. "Oh yes, the baby's condition. His chances are standing eighty to twenty that it will make it. But you need to rest a lot. If you don't get worked up you are pushing his chances to survive. The inner damage has also affected the uterus. We managed to fix it. Of course the body is always doing everything to try to protect a growing child, but there is still the possibility, that the baby will be rejected, as a result of the experienced damage. If the loss of blood was too much and the body can not fix it…." He trailed of, as he saw tears starting to form in the woman's eyes.

"Ms. Sidle, I don't want to scare you, but I need to inform you about the possibilities. Personally, I doubt that this will happen, when you rest enough and stay calm. Everything will be fine then. And we will keep a close eye on you and the little one inside of you." He smiled a friendly, reassuring smile. "You should try to sleep again. I will come around in s couple of hours and look after you two, ok?"

Sara nodded. The doctor and the nurse left her. For some minutes she stared blankly into the room, still feeling shocked from the news. This wasn't something she would have imagined to happen.

On its own behalf one arm rested itself on her belly. Of course there was nothing different to feel by now. Everything was the same than always. But to know that there was a life inside of it changed the feeling for her. It was a good one. She had always thought that she wouldn't make a good mother, that she was not the type for raising a child. She was too complicated, still struggling with her own problems, her childhood and working too much. She had never felt ready for it. But now……all she wanted was to keep this child!

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**Thank you for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: My dear readers, here is the next chapter. Thank you all for your reviews, they made me think again about the next events. You are very inspiring! But at first some words to you.**

**Kirky123: **The romance will still take a while, sorry!

**chimp1984: **Mhm, am I getting back at you? Definitely no. The story is setting the pace here, so I can only say sorry for the wait!

**iluvsarasidle: **Yeah, and it is still thickening in this chapter.

**CSIgirlie08: **Thank you! This is nice to hear.

**iluvdarts: **We are getting rid of the GSR soon!

**Farhan86:** Reactions to the baby issue? Coming very, very soon! ;-)

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When she stepped back into the room Catherine found a bewildered looking Sara in the bed, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. Her friend seemed to be somewhere else with her thoughts and the blond wondered if it had something to do with the talk Sara had with the doctor. _'Please don't let them have found out, that something is badly wrong with her.' _she prayed to the lord.

Careful not to scare the brunette, she approached the bed and cleared her throat. "Sara, is something wrong?"

The other woman didn't react. Not until a hand was waved in front of her face did she notice that she had company. Sara snapped out of her reverie and met the eyes of the blond. It only took her a second to figure out, that she had missed something, mostly a question which the other woman wanted to get answered. "Huh?" Sara blinked. "I'm sorry, Catherine. What did you say?"

"I asked, if something is wrong. You looked shocked." Catherine repeated a bit worried.

The brunette looked away. "Nothing's wrong." She didn't want Catherine to be the one who first knew about her being pregnant. Although the possibility that she could still lose the baby shared her to the bone and it would be much easier if she talked to someone about it. Sure, Catherine would understand her, she was a mother herself. _'But I want, …no, I need to tell Grissom first. He is his father.' _Tears escaped her eyes. _Damn, Gil, were are you? I need you here. Why didn't you stay with me?' _

Before Catherine could notice the droplets rolling down her friend's face, the door was opened. The nurse brought Sara some pills and water to drink. The brunette took the opportunity to compose herself and whipped the tears away with a fast move of her hand.

The blond wasn't about to let the other woman of the hook so easily. She knew that Sara could be too stubborn for her own good sometimes and her inner voice told her, such a time was now. "Please, look at me Sara." she begged in a soft voice, while Sara swallowed her medicine. "I know there is something bothering you. I only want to help. I'm worried about you."

Slowly the brown haired head moved and Sara smiled lightly at her friend. To hear those words from Catherine had moved her heart. "You don't need to worry. The doctor said that everything will be fine." She reached out with her hand for Catherine's, seeking for some physical contact and comfort. She still felt somehow lost and alone.

Catherine's warm hand was soothing for her nerves and after taking a deep breath she added: "He also told me that I need to rest. Honestly, I feel so tiered that I could sleep for three days."

The blond smiled. "You should rest than. Do you want to be alone?"

Fear flickered in Sara's eyes. "No. Please stay." She paused. "I would feel better with someone beside me." It was hart for her to admit it, but she was afraid to be alone. To be stuck under this car helplessly for hours had been torture. The feelings, images and the fear were still nagging on the back of her mind. It would take a while until she would get rid of them. Plus, her life seemed different now and she had no time to process the latest news in her mind completely.

And something was terribly wrong in this situation. "Have you called Grissom?"

Catherine nodded and settled herself in the chair beside Sara's bed again. "Yes, he said, he would be here in a couple of minutes." She gave the brunettes hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Do you know why he left?" Sara asked.

The other woman sensed the uncertainty in her voice. "Don't worry about it. Perhaps he was simply tired." She tried to calm her and forced a smile on her face.

"Perhaps." Sara yawned. Catherine's presence and the nice feeling of her warm hand had worked a piece of magic. Despite all her sorrows Sara was able to relax now. She fought to hold her eyes open.

"Try to sleep. I will stay with you as long as you want me to."

"Thank you, Catherine." Sara smiled happily and closed her eyes.

"You're welcome." Catherine watched as her friend drifted of to sleep. Although she hadn't said anything further, she had still the feeling that there was more going on than Sara had told her. The blond could sense something big was hanging in the air, but in respect of Sara's current condition she had made an exception from her own stubbornness and let Sara get away with it.

'_Oh Sara, what secret are you hiding?'_ she asked herself while she looked on her now peaceful features. But being a CSI for so many years she knew, that the most secrets get revealed and this special one would only take her some time to figure it out.

XXX

As Sara woke up she felt a lot better. _'This painkillers seem to be very good stuff'_ she thought. Her pain was gone for the moment. Therefore she realised another loss. Catherine wasn't holding her hand anymore. She looked around the room and her eyes rested on somebody's back.

"Gil." Sara felt relieved, but in an instant there where also other emotions washing over her. Why was he standing there and looking out of the window, instead of sitting beside her and holding her hand, like Catherine had done earlier? Wasn't he supposed to do this as her boyfriend, her lover, the father of their child?

'_Slow down. I need to break the news to him first.'_ she told herself.

Grissom slowly turned around as he heard his name. His eyes lit up while he came over.

"Hey." He said in a soft voice as he bent down and placed a light kiss on her forehead.

Sara smiled at the contact. He sat down in the chair smiling back. Seconds and minutes passed by without one of them speaking. Sara looked at Grissom's face. He seemed to be tiered as hell and there was something in his eyes that she couldn't read. This annoyed her and the longer she looked in silence the more she got angry.

"Grissom, where have you been?" Sara asked with a raised eyebrow.

"At home. I tried to get some sleep." came the prompt reply.

The brunette rolled her eyes and frowned. "Why did you not stay with me?"

"I couldn't." These short answers were getting on her nerves. They did nothing to give her the answers she needed.

"Is this all you have to say about this?" Sara snapped at him.

Grissom looked down on his hands. He didn't know how to handle the whole situation and he had never been good at speaking about his own emotions. "We have arrested her. The one who did this to you." he said in a small voice.

The brunette shook her head. She couldn't believe what her ears where telling her brain. What had happened to this man? How could he act like that? This wasn't what she had hoped and it was definitely not what she needed from him. She needed his support now, not these avoiding replies. Sara was on the edge of rage and tears of hurt were already flowing down her cheeks.

The man looked up and noticed that everything had gone wrong and he had no clue how to fix it. How should he explain her, what fears were inside of him? Was she even in the condition again for such a discussion? He felt lost on his end. Taking a deep breath he asked: "What do you want me to say?"

That was the last thing it took for Sara to explode. "What I want you to say? Do you really have to ask this, Gil? I always thought a lover would know what to do if the other one is in a hospital. Where is your compassion, Grissom? Do you not want to know how I'm feeling, how my condition is?" She screamed with an evil glare. She was almost about throwing things against his head.

Grissom raised both eyebrows in confusion. "Catherine already told me, that you will get as good as new within some weeks of rest."

"And it hadn't occurred to you that you should ask me how I am? Hell, Gil, when you do not care so much about how I feel, then how much will it matter to you how our baby is doing?" She said in an angry voice.

Gil blinked in wonderment. "Did you say baby? Our baby?" he asked totally puzzled.

"Yes Gil. Especially you should know that babies are not brought from the storks." she snored.

"Then I'm going to be a father." Slowly it seemed to dawn on him. A sheepish grin appeared on his face.

Sara nodded while she sad in her bed, armed crossed over her chest and drummed with her fingers on her arm angrily.

"Don't think that our talk is over yet." This whipped the grin from his face.

"Look, Sara, I'm sorry. I should have stayed. But I couldn't do it. Please try to understand me." he said in a small voice. "So how are you feeling?"

Sara's eyes were about to pop out of her head. This must be a dream. A very bad dream! In this second she wanted to do nothing more than to jump in his face and punch him as hart as she could.

"You must be kidding, right?" The man only stared at her. "Do you really think that is all you need to say and everything is fine again? I can not understand you! You were so loving and caring the whole time. Where have you left this touch now?"

He still said nothing. And that only made her scream at him again. "Oh, fuck you Grissom! How could I ever love you? In the moment it looks more then the biggest mistake I have ever made!"

He winced at these words. They had hit him straight into the heart. He knew he hadn't acted right, but now it had happened and he wished nothing more than to take everything back.

Sara took a deep breath to cool of. She still wished this to be a dream. She closed her eyes and shook her head in disbelieve. This couldn't be real!

A sharp pain in her belly told her otherwise. She groaned loud in pain and held her belly with her hand as she bended forward.

Grissom jumped up from his chair in fear. "Sara, what's up?"

"I don't know." She hissed while straitening up again; the pain almost unbearable. Then she felt how the blood drowned from her head and everything went black. Her body sunk back into the cushions and Grissom ran from the room yelling for help.

XXX

Catherine strolled down the hallway on her way back to Sara's room. She had made a visit at the cafeteria, getting herself a cup of coffee and something to eat. Now the whole events had court up on her and she thought she could sleep everywhere if she wouldn't get into bed soon. Since Grissom was staying with Sara, she had the opportunity to go home. But she had wanted to wait until Sara woke up. She couldn't leave the hospital without saying goodbye to her.

Some nurses came running from a room, rolling a bed down the hallway with a doctor on their heels, giving instructions. "Get her into surgery as soon as possible. We need to stop the bleeding immediately!"

She froze in her movements. _'Stop! Wasn't that Sara's room where they came out?' _Catherine's happy mood vanished instantly. She had only court a glimpse of the person lying in the bed, but she could swear to have seen a strand of brown hair.

The blond forced her body back into action. As she entered the room, Sara and her bed were gone. There was only Grissom, standing somehow lost in the middle of the room, with his head hanging down.

"Gil, what has happened with Sara?" Catherine asked, worries colouring her voice.

He looked up at her, fear clearly written all over his face. "I don't know. We were fighting and than she was suddenly in big pain." Grissom shook his head. "Then she lost her consciousness. I got a doctor and he said she is bleeding inside again."

Catherine was astonished. "Why did you have a fight? Everything was fine with her when I left her. Gil, what have you done?" she asked.

Her boss and friend held his hands up helplessly. "I did nothing. But at a point….somehow……everything went wrong." he admitted in a small voice.

This answer didn't please Catherine. Her earlier feeling that something was in the air matched perfectly to Grissom telling her now about their fight. There had to be more than he was telling her.

"Gil," she said in a warning tone, "don't try to fool me about this. You two are not fighting without a reason. Spill it, what is going on here?"

The blond woman was slightly growing angry. Grissom could see it in her eyes. He had enough of angry women for one day, so he gave in. "She is pregnant."

His defeated voice was nearly over a whisper, but Catherine heard him loud and clear. She couldn't believe her ears. This had to be a dream. Of course she had been prepared for something big, but this hadn't been on her list. She had never imagined that Sara could be pregnant.

Grissom watched how the colour disappeared from the woman's face and she sunk into a nearby chair. Startled by her reaction, he rushed to her side. "Cath is everything ok?" Gil asked afraid.

The blonde only stared at him for a moment. "Pregnant?" she brought out finally.

Grissom nodded. "And you are the father?" Catherine was still in shock about the news.

"Yes. Are you sure you are all right, Cath?" he asked again.

Before she could answer him, there were familiar voices in the hall, which fast grew louder and then filled the room.

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**Thank you for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So, here is the next chapter. A big thank you for the reviews! They made my day! Although I'm not as much satisfied with this chapter as I was with the last ones I couldn't let you hang any longer. **

**I hope I could manage to answer all your questions in this chapter. Enjoy! **

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The happy chatting from Brass, Greg, Lindsey, Nick, Sofia and Warrick died down as they spotted the scene in the room. On a chair sat a very pale looking Catherine, Grissom was bending down to her with a worried expression on his face and there was no sign of Sara. 

Lindsey pushed the big bunch of flowers she was carrying in Greg's hands and hurried over to her mother's side. "Mom, are you ok? You are looking kind of shocked." she stated with a frown.

"Hi, sweetie." Catherine forced a slight smile on her lips. "I'm only tired. The last days were quite exhausting." She stroke lovingly through the girls hair.

"Then it should be the best, if somebody is driving you home." Brass chimed in.

Warrick nodded. "Yeah, I will do it." he offered. "But, before we go, where is Sara? At the registration, they told us she would be in this room. What's going on guys?"

Grissom spoke up. "They brought her back into surgery. She began to bleed inside again."

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Greg with a troubled voice. Nick, Sofia and the others looked silently at each other.

Catherine shifted her gaze from her daughter over to the youngest CSI. "Don't worry Greg. I'm sure she will make it. She is a survivor. Especially now, were she is pregnant. She has to fight for the baby too. That's a reason for her to give not up."

Everybody in the room went silent for a while, needing time to let the new information sink in. "Ehm, Grissom, does this mean that you are going to be a father soon?" Nick asked, while scratching his head.

The teams' supervisor nodded. "Yes, but why is everyone so surprised about this fact?"

Warrick raised his hands in a defending gesture. "It's only, because the information about you and Sara having a relationship is still a bit new for us." He stepped over to his boss and hugged him. "Congratulations, dude! I'm happy for you two."

"Thank you, Warrick." said the soon to be father with a light smile.

One after the other congratulated Grissom and soon they were again in conversations about the news. When Catherine yawned loudly, they were brought back on topic. Sofia raised an eyebrow and looked with sorrow at the older woman. "I think we should drive you home now. You can hardly hold your eyes open. Warrick, do you still stick to your offer?" she wanted to know.

The tall man nodded reassuringly. "Good. You take her and Lindsey home than. We others should go to the surgery-station and try to find out if they are having news about Sara. Greg, you go and find a vase for the flowers. It would be a pity if they shrivelled. Does anyone have something to complain about this plan?" She looked around the room, but everyone was ok with it.

"We should also ask if the baby is ok." Greg reminded them, as he already walked away in search for a vase. His co-workers followed him into the hallway, making their way to the surgery on the next floor.

"But I wanted to visit Sara." whined Lindsey. "Mom, can I not stay for a while and wait?"

"No Lindsey. The surgery will perhaps take some hours. And have you done your homework yet?"

The younger Willows woman rolled her eyes. "No. Damn homework." she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" asked her mother with a quizzically expression. "Honey, you can visit Sara tomorrow. She will enjoy your visit even more when she is awake."

"You're right mom." sighted Lindsey, as her mother stood up and both walked over to Warrick, who was waiting near the door. "Let's go home then."

XXX

The team only had to wait for one and a half hour until they got new information about her colleague. Grissom had dozed of a while ago. He had been grateful for Sofia taking over the lead, because he was out of energy. As the doctor approached the waiting group, Nick woke his boss up.

The doctor looked at them and asked: "Is perhaps one of you the baby's father?"

Grissom stood up. "Yes, that's me. How are they? What had happened?" He had shifted into the supervisor mode on autopilot and nailed the other man with his questions. To show that he cared for someone in public was much easier for him when he acted professionally.

The others gathered around the two men, also craving to know what the doctor had to tell.

Then the doctor began to speak. "Ms. Sidle is all right by now. An artery in her stomach cracked, but we could repair it very easily. The baby is well too, although we were worried in the beginning in case of her great blood loss. A blood conserve managed to get both on the good side again, mother and child. She is asleep now; you all can visit her tomorrow again, but it is necessary, that she will not be troubled with anything. She needs rest for the next weeks. But…" he trailed of and looked at Grissom. "Since you are the father, you can stay with her, if you want to."

The doctor saw everyone relieved at the good news. "There is only one question." He stated with a raised eyebrow. "I still can not come up with a reason for the broken artery. We checked everything of her the first time we had her on the table. Do you know if she was in rage about something?" he asked, completely clueless in Grissom's direction.

The supervisor felt trapped. "We were having a light argument." he admitted.

"That solved the puzzle. Make sure she stays calm, especially in the next few days." With that the doctor excused himself.

"Did I hear correctly, Grissom? A light argument? With Sara? Don't try to fool yourself. We all know that this can not be true. When Sara argues, she does it with all her heart, and that's never nice for the one on the wrong side. Man, what were you thinking? You should have known that she needs rest now." Brass questioned, in a still friendly voice, but the underlying anger was visible. He had always felt for Sara a bit as for his own daughter. And now his defending instincts kicked in.

"You could have killed the baby!" Greg exclaimed, shocked as the course of the events enfolded in his mind.

"Yeah, that was stupid." chimed Sofia in.

"Hey, guys cool down. I don't think that Grissom did anything of this intentionally." Nick tried to rescue his boss a bit.

"Thank you, Nick, but you don't need to stand up for my actions. Fact is, that I didn't knew anything about Sara's pregnancy as I visited her earlier. I think on some point our conversation went the wrong way. And Sara kind of exploded on me." he told them in an defeated tone and rubbed his tiered eyes.

Everyone looked around a bit embarrassed. They hadn't known that Gil had only been informed about Sara's pregnancy today too. They had simply assumed that he had known it for some time by now.

"You're right, Nick. I think it is better when we all make our way out of here and get to work. It is quiet about time. Do you want to stay?" Brass asked Grissom with an apologetically look.

Grissom shook his head. He knew the reason for everyone's reaction. "No, I will go home and try to get some rest. I'm tired."

Brass nodded. "Ok. Then come on, my friend, I'll give you a lift."

So the team spilled out of the hospital and settled back into the daily routine.

XXX

In the meantime Warrick had brought the two Willows woman home and driven home for a little while before going to work.

Catherine fell into bed like a stone. The minute she hit the pillow she had already gone to sleep. She didn't even bother to shower first; this would have to wait for some hours.

It was evening when she woke up to a loud noise from downstairs. Jumping out of her bed she strolled down, wanting to know where the noise had come from. In the kitchen she found out. Lindsey stood bend forward in the middle of the room, gathering up the pieces of some broken porcelain, what must have mostly been a plate before. On the stove was something cooking, filling the air with a tasteful smell. Catherine's stomach grumbled joyfully.

"Lindsey, was that you?" she asked stunned.

The girl was startled by the voice of her mother, with the result that she dropped the already picked up pieces once more. "I'm sorry mom. I didn't want to destroy the plate. It slipped out of my hands as I retrieved it out of the cupboard." The girl explained in a fearful voice, while turning around and facing her mother. "I'll pick it up and clean the mess. Don't be mad at me." She looked onto the ground.

Catherine stepped over to her little one and hugged her lovingly. "Sweetie, you haven't done anything wrong. Why should I be mad at you? A broken plate isn't such a bad thing; it happens everybody from time to time."

Surprised, Lindsey looked at her mother's face. "Even you mom?"

"Yes, even me." She nodded with a smile on her lips. "Last week for example I dropped a cup." Her daughter blinked, getting more and more surprised about her mother's confession.

"Don't look at me as if I'm without fault." Catherine chuckled. "Honey, everybody makes a mistake time after time. So you don't need to be embarrassed when you have made one. The only thing I want is that you tell me about it, no matter what, ok?"

The girl nodded. Of cause, this wasn't something new for her. Her mother had told her that at many occasions before and she knew it in the back of her mind and also in her heart. But it didn't stop her from being afraid of her mother's reaction every time a mistake occurred.

Catherine sensed the girl's still troubled mind and gathered her in her arms again. "Lindsey, do you have an idea about how proud I'm about you?"

The smaller blond shook her head in disbelieve. "No. Why are you proud of me?" she asked in an insecure tone, also full of wonderment.

"Yes. Look around the kitchen. You cooked and it smells delicious! And to be honest I'm very hungry. I can't wait to taste it."

"And what about the broken pieces?"

"We will pick them up together later. You don't want your mother to die of hunger, do you?" Catherine said with a twinkle in her eyes and got a headshake in response.

Now Lindsey got enthusiastic. With a big grin spread over her face she turned to the pots and served her mother a meal.

"Chef, this is wonderful." Catherine praised after she had tasted the offered spaghetti with self-made tomato sauce.

The girls' chest puffed out with pride. "Thank you, mom."

And it was really delicious. Catherine hadn't imagined that her daughter would try to cook herself, but it didn't surprise her much, that her smart girl had done so well on her first time. _'Yeah, she is definitely growing up. My little one is an adult soon. Hence, she is 16!' _she thought by herself, also feeling a bit sad about the simple truth.

The Willows women had a nice meal and evening together, chatting about the latest events while eating and cleaning everything afterwards.

Catherine had called the lab and Nick had told her, that Sara's surgery had gone well and that they were having a slow night. So it wasn't a problem for the guys to handle everything even without her, Sara and Grissom. The blond was more than pleased about the good news, so she went to bed happily, after saying goodnight to her daughter.

But her happy mood wasn't supposed to last long. Lying in her bed Catherine had trouble to go to sleep again. Thoughts about Sara occupied her mind. Why hadn't they got to know earlier about the relationship between Sara and Grissom? It had always been a rumour that there was something going on between them, but that had always been only a rumour, such as that she was having a relationship with Warrick, at least until his marriage was common knowledge.

Yeah, she couldn't deny, that there was some kind of chemistry between Sara and their boss. But Catherine had always thought it had something to do with the past they shared, the connection from a mentor and his student.

And now, everything had changed in a damn fast tempo. Not only was released the relationship of the two co-workers, she had also learned about Sara's pregnancy. Both facts together gave Catherine a heavy feeing in her heart. She had no idea why. Perhaps it had something to do with trust. Hell, she had been friends with Grissom for so many years by now and he hadn't said anything. Also Sara and the blond had had the feeling, that she and the brunette had become friends too.

'_Perhaps it isn't about our friendship. What, if they agreed to each other not to tell anyone? It would be definitely better to keep it quiet when you consider work. Such relationships do not really scream for professionalism while you are on duty and that can cause trouble, especially when you think about Ecklie.' _

But there was also another puzzle nagging on her mind. Why did Sara and Grissom have a fight? What was it about? Catherine went over the gathered information she had in her head. She knew that Sara had been somehow troubled after her talk to the doctor, as if she wanted to hide a secret. Then Grissom visited her and they had a fight.

Thinking about everything for a few minutes resulted in a 'click' in Catherine's mind. _'What if Sara and Grissom didn't knew about the pregnancy until today?' _the blonde mused. She also considered how many times Sara had asked for Grissom and why he hadn't stayed. That would explain everything and knowing how stubborn Sara could be when she wasn't getting the answer she wanted and also how difficult it was for Grissom to speak about emotions, it wasn't really a surprise that they had ended up fighting.

'_Typically Sara, typically Grissom.'_ she thought and shook her head with a light amusement. She hoped that the couple would be able to work the problems out, but she supposed they would. These two were having a great connection of their minds, so it wouldn't be a big thing to get everything right again after Sara had cooled of. But strangely her heart felt still heavy from this thought. _'Perhaps I'll need some time to adjust to the whole news. It will only be a couple of days and I'm completely fine with it. I'm truly happy that they have found somebody.' _

With this reassuring thoughts Catherine finally managed to stop her mind and went to sleep.

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**Thank you for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to everybody**** for reading and for the reviews! I appreciate every comment very much. **

**chimp1984: **Thank you! Hmmm, a dream? Nice possibility, haven't really thought about that by now. But she will have to work with her feelings soon. And Grissom….let's say he will try to make it up, but will it go as he wanted it to? You will see in the next chapter, I promise.

**Kate Walsh Addict: **Thank you! Yeah, Grissom isn't acting nice here. We will get rid of him in a short while. ;-)

**i****luvsarasidle: **Nice to hear, that you enjoyed them! Makes me very happy!Yes, you are right. Catherine will get to hear a revelation, but not today. Sorry!

**In-betweens: **Thank you very much and welcome to the story! Sara needing help with the pregnancy will be a reason, but not the main and the only one.

**So much for the moment, now enjoy.**

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Sara stirred in her sleep, giving the person by her side a happy feeling in expectation of her soon awakening. One more time she couldn't see clearly when she slowly opened her eyes. All she could make out was somebody's silhouette and a piece of blond hair glowing in the sunlight. Her hand was lightly squeezed, so her mind jumped on a conclusion and her mouth moved into work. "Catherine?" 

Laughter was coming from the person and in Sara's brain the wheels began to turn. _'That isn't Cath's voice, that's…Oh, crap. Can somebody come and kill me, please?' _she groaned inwardly. She felt embarrassed and braced herself for a special kind of remark.

"No, definitely not. But I feel very honoured that you think I'm as hot and good-looking as her." laughed the voice in a teasing tone.

Sara's vision cleared and she must smile at the remark. "Greg." she said in a sleep filled voice. "Nice to see, that at last someone is having fun here. When your breasts have grown, we will discus it further." Sara grinned at him.

The youngest CSI grinned back. "Hey Sara! Good to see you. And even better that you are already making jokes again. Then I suppose you will be out of here in no time." He said cheerfully. He and Sara were friends for a while now and he knew that Sara hated hospitals.

"I hope so. By the way, what time is it and what has happen?" the brunette wanted to know.

The young man glanced at his watch and spoke like a machine: "We are having 7 hours, 23 minutes, 45 seconds on what seems to be a nice thursday morning." He grew serious. "What's the last thing you know?"

Sara dove in her memory. "I remember having one hell of a pain in my stomach." She paled a shade. "The baby. Greg, tell me, that the baby is ok!"

Greg was a bit startled about the sudden outburst of her, her troubled voice and the fearful expression in her eyes. That wasn't a side of the Sara Sidle he knew. "Don't panic, Sara. Everything is all right with the baby." He stroked her hand soothingly. "An artery broke, but they repaired it and you will be fine. But you need to stay calm in the next days. If you don't you are putting the baby in danger."

The woman let out a breath she had been holding and rubbed with her hand over her face. "My god. I don't know what I would have done, if you had told me something else." she mumbled.

Looking at her friend again, she stated in a calm voice: "Perhaps I would have killed Grissom. He was the reason for everything." She took deep, calming breath "But let's don't go there. I have no desire to talk about him." She paused for a second and shook her head to clear her mind from this train of thoughts. "Now tell me, how are the others? Have you been working tonight? And what case did you work on?"

Greg respected her wish and started to tell her enthusiastically from the case he had worked and finished on his own before he had come to the hospital.

XXX

It didn't take two weeks until Sara was released from the hospital. Her inner wounds had mostly healed well, no complications had shown up, only her rips hadn't completely healed and ached still on some movements or hart laughter, but it was only a matter of time and this would also fade.

Sara sat now on her bed and waited for Catherine. The blond had promised to pick her up from the hospital and drive her home. Since their fight Sara hadn't heard one single thing from Grissom and somehow she was relieved to have not to deal with him. Other things were troubling her, like the nightmares she was having in the last days. Her dreams were captured from images burned into her head by the day of her lying under this car.

Another thing was the fear she still carried inside of her about the pregnancy and how she should manage to raise a child. And now it seemed, that not only her ability as mother was a point for her sorrow, but also how to do it alone. Grissom didn't seem to mint a single bit about her and the baby. That would ad new complications and problems to the whole issue.

Until now she had been holding these fears silently inside her and turned them over in her head. But yesterday she had decided to talk about them with somebody who she knew would understand her and be able to give her some advices and new encouragement. Catherine would know about her troubles as she was a mother who raised a child on her own. She had planned to ask her on their way to her apartment or after they had arrived there. The latter looked to be the better possibility for such a talk, but if she couldn't hold it any longer inside her, she would ask at the first opportunity she got before her courage disappeared out of the window.

The brunette sat there for a couple of minutes. She looked on her watch. _'15 after 9 am. What is taking her so long? Perhaps a case. But she could have called anyways.' _

A knock on the door drew her attention. _'Finally.' _As it opened somebody greeted her happily, but it wasn't Catherine.

"What are you doing here, Sofia?" Sara asked, surprised and confused at the same time. "It's a bit late for a last visit. I have already quit my quarters. Catherine must be here every minute to pick me up."

"Nice way to greet your friend, Sara." The blond stated in a playful voice and winked at her. "Actually I'm here to pick you up instead of Catherine."

Sara blinked. "Why? Has something happened to her?"

"No, everything is fine with her. But she got a call from Lindsey's school. She was having a fight with some other girls and they wanted to talk with Catherine immediately about it. So she asked me if I could pick you up." Sofia elaborated while making a defending gesture.

The brunette took a calming breath. Her plans were useless for the moment. But she felt also kind of strange. Why had she been on the brink of panic by the simple statement, that Catherine wasn't coming? _'Looks as if the whole car thing is still stuck in my bones.'_

After the CSI had composed herself she made her way out of the hospital, the blond detective by her side who carried her bag. At fist Sara had wanted to carry her belongings by herself, but somehow had the fact that Catherine didn't come affected her more then she would have imagined it to be possible. She still felt a bit weak and so she had taken the detectives offer gratefully.

Outside Sara inhaled deep a few times. "It is so good to get out of there." She told delighted, as the blond put the bag in the trunk.

"I know what you mean." smiled Sofia back; she neither was a fan of hospitals, the smell was too uncomfortable.

The women got into the car; Sofia started the engine and pulled of. They drove for a while in silence, both enjoying the light music playing from the radio. While Sofia was paying attention to the traffic, Sara looked out of the window and watched the people on the streets. Everything was fine until Sara suddenly realised that there was a feeling growing inside of her stomach. She couldn't deny it any longer and started to pay attention to it. The feeling was fear. Fear about…..she couldn't put her finger on it by now and tried to ignore it. But it was slightly growing and the longer they were driving, the more she felt uncomfortable in the car. The car. That was it. She was afraid of the car.

Sara tried to suppress all this in her mind and concentrated more on the things going on outside. _'You can do this.' _she told herself and silently took a deep breath. Finally she succeeded and calmness washed again over her.

Sofia stopped on a red light. The blond looked over to the car, which was standing on the other side of the crossroads. A red Ferrari was waiting for green peacefully. The detective loved such cars with much power; they had fascinated her from the first time she had seen one and heard the powerful sound they were making when their driver was speeding up. She was about to comment about it, as from the far end of the road another car drove up and crashed into the Ferrari. The sound of shattering metal and the squealing of breaks was deafening for a second.

The light went to green and Sofia informed the station about the accident and called for the necessary help while she drove on. She was off duty now and to bring her friend home was more important to her at the moment. _'Leave the accidents to the officers. As long as there isn't a dead body in the trunk I will not bother with it now.'_ she thought.

Sofia didn't notice Sara's reaction to the whole incident, because her gasp was over tuned by the outside noise and the brunette had always been good at hiding her own distress. She gripped the door handle for support to prevent the discovery of her shaking hands.

To hear the shattering had loosened an avalanche of memories inside her brain which were near in their intensity of flashbacks. She relived a piece of the moment when she got stuck under that car in the desert. This hasn't happened to her before. She had only dreamed about the whole thing, but never experienced such a heavy memory. Everything she had buried successfully inside her was pulled loose, all the fears and despairs she had suffered from her incident.

She was near a panic attack and the only thought that occupied her mind now was that she needed to get out of this tin.

"Sofia, can you pull over please?" she asked, as calm as she could muster.

The detective glanced over. "Why? Do you need to get something?"

Sara's breath was getting faster. "No. I need to get out of here. Pull over now." She knew she couldn't take it much longer.

Sofia looked more carefully at the other woman and saw her distressed expression. "Sara, what's up? Can I help you?"

"You can pull this damn car over now! I must get out!" she screamed with a raged voice, her chest heaving from the short breaths she was taking. The knuckles of her hand where white from the hard grip she had on the handle.

"Ok, ok. No reason for panic. Cool down Sara." Sofia gave in and tried to sooth her friend, who was already fumbling with the seat belt, while she pulled in the next parking lot. "So, here we go."

She hadn't even cut the engine when Sara was standing on the sidewalk, breathing rapidly and shaking with her whole body. Sofia stepped out of the car and walked over to her troubled friend. She carefully placed a hand on Sara's arm and spoke in a soothing tone.

"Sara, everything is all right. Calm down. Nothing happened. Everything is fine." By now she had no idea about what had triggered Sara's sudden outburst; at the moment it was more important to help her to calm down again.

The brunette closed her eyes and shook her head. "Nothing is fine."

Sofia looked at her questioningly. "Really it is. Take a deep breath." Her friend did as asked. "Yeah, that's good. Do it again. Do you feel how you are getting calm again?"

Sara nodded slowly after she had taken a few deep breathes more.

"You see, everything is fine. Now we can get back into the car and drive the last bit to your apartment."

Sara's head snapped up and the detective could easily make out the fear in her eyes once more. _'Shit. That was the wrong thing to say.'_

The CSI shook her head violently and held her hands up. "No. I'm not going into it again. I can not." Her voice sounded stressed and troubled.

Sofia reached with her hand out convincingly. "But nothing can happen to you. And we are only ten blocks away from your apartment. It won't be a long ride." It seemed as if the other woman was about to give in. Sofia could clearly see the fight of her worries and thoughts play out over her face.

At this moment a car shot around the corner with squealing breaks. Sara only stared for a second, than turned on her heals and run away.

After a few steps Sofia had court up and forced her to a halt. "Sara, what's up? Are you planning on walking home? There is no way that I'll let this happen. The doctor told you to not overdo it for the next two weeks."

"Actually, yes. I will walk home. There is no fucking way that I will ever set a foot into a car again. And I don't care what the doctor said, Sofia. I'm a grown woman and can make my own decisions. You said by yourself that we are only ten blocks away. I think I can handle that. You are free to join me, detective. Or are you not in the condition for such a trip?" Sara's voice was coloured by a mix of anger and despair as she spat the words against the blond.

Sofia sighted. "Ok, I'll come with you. But please wait a minute so I can get your bag and lock the car."

Sara nodded. She hadn't expected that the other women would give in so easily. Normally it was a lot more struggle to fight with Curtis and deep down Sara even enjoyed these times as much as the occasionally fights with Catherine. They were not only an output for the stress; afterwards they mostly let them to new aspects of their cases when they had cooled off.

While the brunette stood there and waited, Sofia walked back to the car. She couldn't understand the reason of her friend for such a reaction, but her inner voice had told her to give in; and in respect for Sara's wellbeing and their friendship she had done it although she wasn't fine with this kind of action. It wasn't the right thing to do for Sara in her current healing condition. _'Stupid, stubborn woman.' _she thought as she got Sara's bag out of the trunk, locked the car and jogged back to her friend, who had already started walking.

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**Thank you for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimers are the same as in chapter one**

**A/N: Thank you all for the amazing numbers of reviews! I feel very flattered! Sorry my dear readers for the long delay with this chapter! I hope you can accept my apology. I wasn't able to update any further, because university started again and I was confronted with many work and new responsibilities. I hope I will be able to update more regularly again in a few weeks, when hopefully have some things off my back and settled in a better rhythm with my work. ****So far from me, now a few comments.**

**Kirky123: **Thank you! A bit more of it in this chapter.

**chimp1984: **Here it is finally! Now we do something with Grissom and taking responsibility. Sadly Sara will ask Catherine for advice only in the next chapter.

**charming-****kayleigh**Welcome to the story! I'm glad you like it.

**JuKi**** Fan: **Welcome too! A little bit of Grissom in this one, sorry, but I couldn't help it. ;-)

**Ponys**This chapter is with a bit Grissom. Sorry!

**elwing** I did it on purpose, that Sofia picked her up and not Catherine. You will see in a few chapters why.

**In-betweens: **Yes, perhaps Sofia could have acted different. But again, I wanted it to be this way. You will understand in a few chapters why.

**Iluvdarts**** & ****Jenn**** R & ****iluvsarasidle**Thank you for your reviews and waiting the long time!

**So now on with the chapter! Enjoy!

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**

**Chapter 7 **

She had no good feeling in her stomach as she sat down on Catherine's sofa. But it wouldn't make anything better, Sofia knew that. So she told the blond next to her what had happened when she had brought Sara home. While she was talking she noticed the frown that appeared on Catherine's face.

"How could you act in such a stupid way? What were you thinking?" Catherine asked Sofia in an angry voice after the detective had finished her report.

Sofia opened her mouth but no word came out. She didn't know how to answer the other blonds' question, so she looked on the floor sadly and chewed on her toothpick.

The CSI had stood up and started to pace angrily. "Answer me. Why have you done such a stupid think?" She ran a hand trough her hair. "Sara isn't in the condition to walk such a distance. Hell, she is pregnant and has gone through hell. She should rest, not run around. And since her behaviour after you both witnessed a car crash she shouldn't be alone at home. That simply wasn't the right thing to do!" She tipped with her food anxiously. "Look at me, toothpick-lady!" But she still got no answer or a reaction from the other woman. Sofia had started to close her of.

Catherine shook her head. She sighted and tried to calm herself. Being angry won't get her anywhere. The blond sat down next to the other one. "Sofia, please tell me why you let her walk the whole way? And why did you left her alone in her flat?" she asked in a now calm voice.

Carefully the detective looked up. She swallowed the lump in her throat and started to speak again. "I don't know why I let her do all those things." She took a deep breath and looked in Catherine's eyes. "I only knew that she has set her mind on not getting back into the car. And you know her, Catherine, when she has something in her head you can not change her mind. It seemed to be the best to do things on her terms at the moment."

Sofia took the toothpick out of her mouth and sighted. "I know it wasn't right and honestly I felt awful to leave her back there. But she seemed to be ok as we arrived and she was tired. She only wanted to go to bed and sleep. Sara really looked tired but ok as I left her. I had never left her, if I hadn't thought that she could get along alone for some hours. Catherine, I swear, otherwise I would have stayed with her."

Catherine nodded. She remembered well the many times when Sara and she had argued about one little thing for hours or even days because no one wanted to give in. The blond CSI was as stubborn as the brunette. She had to smile at the memories.

Sofia looked fascinated at the sudden change in Catherine's features. It was a well known secret within the people who knew Catherine at work, that on the right days or when she was taken on the wrong food, the blond CSI could go from friendly to angry and vice versa in lesser time then the blink of an eye. But to see it happen was always a little wonder for Sofia. She still wondered if it gave a reason for such great changes in the other woman's moods. Perhaps this would be a secret she would never discover.

After some minutes Catherine came back from dreamland. "I understand why you acted the way you did. Perhaps it was the right thing to do." She sighted. "I can't even say if I would have done anything different. And I'm sorry for yelling at you."

Sofia smiled. "It's ok. I know you were only worried about her. I'm too. "

She took a deep breath before standing up. "Is there something else you want to know? If not, I would like to get some sleep myself." The detective stifled a yawn.

The blond CSI shook her head. "No, there isn't. Thanks again for picking her up." She brought Sofia to the front door.

"No problem. Call me anytime you need me. Sleep well, Catherine."

"You too. See you tonight." Catherine looked after her friend as she got in her car, waved once more goodbye and drove off.

Her mind wandered back to Sara as she closed the door and started to make herself ready for going to bed. _'I hope you are doing well, Sara.'_ she thought as she laid her head on the pillow and drifted to sleep.

XXX

After Sara had gotten rid of Sofia she made her way into the bedroom for changing her closes. All she wanted now was a long and deep sleep. Her nab hadn't even started as somebody knocked on her front door. Groaning she got up again to answer the door. When she opened it, she saw Grissom standing there with flowers in his hands.

Sara raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Gil, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you are." He took in her appearance. "And the baby, of course." he added and raised the flowers in her field of view. "These are for you. Can I come in?"

The brunette sighted and stepped aside. "Ok. Come in." She took the flowers from his offering hands and closed the door behind him. "Thanks for these." A small smile grazed her lips. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll put them in some water."

Grissom nodded and sat on the couch while Sara disappeared for a couple of minutes in the kitchen. Then she took place on the other side of the sofa and faced him. "So Gil, why are you really here? Fore sure you are not only coming around to see how I am."

He needed a few minutes to pull himself together again. He still felt insecure and sitting opposite of her didn't help anything in the matter. When he finally locked their gazes, he spoke. "Yeah, you're right. It wasn't the only reason. At first I want to apologise for my bad behaviour in the hospital a few days ago. And then I..."

He didn't get any further, because Sara cut him off. "A few days? Gil it has been almost two weeks since then! And by the way, why was that the only time I got to see you there?" Again Sara got a bit angry about his behaviour.

Gil raised a hand in a peaceful manner. "Please Sara, let me finish first and I will explain to you everything after I have gotten the things out I have to say."

The brunette blinked at him. She couldn't believe him. "Why the hell don't you explain it now? Now is as good as anytime; in fact, it would be better if you do it immediately." She crossed her arms over her chest.

Grissom found himself a bit lost at her request. He had planed his whole speech out and had played it over in his head a thousand times, but this confused him. "Sara, I don't think I can do this now. I must go through the other things first."

"That's bullshit, Gil, and you know it." There she snapped at him and stood up. This was going wrong once more.

Sara was getting annoyed by his behaviour. He had a nerve! "I can not understand you. At first you are acting so strange in the hospital, than you don't show up and when you finally do you can not even explain to me why you did what you did. Or better why you didn't do what I had wanted you to." She sighted and ran a hand trough her hair.

Gil sat on the couch, suddenly finding the carpet very interesting. He found himself at a loose end and had no idea how he could put everything on trek again. "Do you have at last the manners to look at me when I speak to you?"

She sounded a bit desperate and he couldn't deny her the wish. Sara was standing in front of the living-room window, hands on her hips and shook her head in disbelieve.

"What has happened to you? You seem as if you aren't the same person anymore. Where is the man I fell in love with?" Her voice sounded as small and desperate as he felt right now. And he felt at a loss for words.

They were both silent for a couple of minutes until Sara couldn't stand it any longer. "Hell Gil, what do you want to do now? Honestly, I feel very tired and exhausted. I would like to sleep for some hours and if you haven't anything to say, I think it's the best you go now."

He stood up, but not with the intention of leaving. "Sara, I would like to tell you that I'm sorry and didn't mend anything of this to ever happen. All I ever wanted was to be there for you."

The last sentence hit a nerve. "Be there?" she exclaimed and stepped to him, forcing Grissom to go take a step back when she made one forward. "Gil, you haven't been there when I needed you the most in the last days. You showed not even a sign that you are willing to be there then." By now they had reached the door. "Not for me and not even for our child. Perhaps you think again if this is the right kind of responsibility that you have to show now and in the near future." With that she opened the door and ushered him out.

"But Sara, I came by to tell you that I will do everything for you and the child! Please don't send me away. I would like to plan out with you how we should go on now." He said fast in a defending voice.

She looked him in the eyes and missed a great amount of sincerity there. "Then you should start to act like that if you really mean it. Goodnight Gil."

And with that she slammed the door in his face.

XXX

While Grissom walked away sadly, Sara went back to her bedroom. In the doorway she stopped. Her anger had flown away and the only emotions left were her fears, loneliness and exhaustion. She had no idea why Grissom wasn't acting as caring and loving as she had gotten him to know to be. Was her pregnancy the reason? Of course his reaction to the news in the hospital had shown that he was happy about it and judging by his statement a few minutes ago he was willing to support her and the baby, he wanted to be there for them. At least that was what he had said. But for Sara it was more important how he was acting. She needed him to show that he truly meant what he said. There was a great difference between saying something and acting like you believe in it. She hadn't seen sincerity in his eyes, and in the moment she felt so insecure herself that it was a desperate need inside of her to see sincerity and strength in him. But that was the missing piece.

Feeling miserable she let herself fall on her bed where she laid on her stomach and hugged a pillow. Tears made their way down her cheeks and Sara hoped that she would be able to go to sleep soon. Perhaps the world would be a better one afterwards.

XXX

Grissom had gone back to the lab after his visit by Sara. He had still many hours until he had to go in for shift and on a normal day he would be sleeping by now. But the conversation had made his head spin with worries and thoughts. He still tried to understand what had gone wrong this time and why he wasn't able to give Sara what she needed. She had voiced that she longed for him to show what he had said. Easier said than done. He had no idea how to do this.

Also was he wondering why Sara was so short tempered around him. Yes, he knew he had made the wrong decision in staying away from the hospital. She had spit it into his face. But knowing Sara for such a long time had taught him, that she needed time for herself and to cool of, especially after a big fight. Could this be all? His gut feeling told him otherwise. There had to be more then she was willing to tell him.

He sighted. Sometimes this woman was a great mystery for him. And seeing once more Sara's fragile features made his heart ache. He wanted to be able to make it better. Only left was how. On other times when she had been breaking down, he had simply come by, waited until she had started to tell him everything and listened.

Sadly it hadn't worked know. He hoped he would come up with some idea to fix what had gone wrong in their relationship soon. Until this point, he would do his job as every other day.

XXX

Hours later, shift had started. Everybody of the team with the exception of Sara had gathered in the break room. Grissom handed them the assignments, putting Nick and Warrick on a double homicide while Catherine and Greg got a bank robbery. Grissom himself was still busy with paperwork, although he had been working on it since he came in this morning. His mind couldn't really focus and this was kind of depressing for him.

His thoughts were still wandering to Sara every now and then, no matter how much he was concentrating on the task at hand. After his team had spilled out, he was still standing in the break room, looking around. Something was definitively missing. His gaze settled itself on the sofa.

Yeah, that was missing. Sara. She was the one sitting there on this spot on the sofa, or occupying this one chair at the table. He closed his eyes. He was missing her and slowly it was killing him. He wasn't quite sure what was hurting more, that she wasn't here, or that he knew, that he couldn't go to her again until he hadn't worked out how to fix everything.

Adding to the situation was also the fact that he found himself more and more useless at work with every hour he stayed. Clearly his lack of sleep was a reason for his little concentration, but he knew for sure that a fresh mind would wander to Sara as much as his sleepy one now.

No, this wasn't an acceptable situation. He needed to do something about it.

As he was about to retreat to his office again as he spotted Ecklie walking down the floor and he made a decision.

XXX

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**Thank you for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello my dear readers, **

**at first a big thank you to everyone who did review to the last chapter. This feedback always makes my day! **

**I hope that some of you haven't forgotten about the story and will read on instead of the long time and the lack of updates. Life was and still is very busy for me and I'm also struggling with writers block. My first intention was to post one big update. But until I can't come up with a fitting end of the planed chapter, I found that I shouldn't let you hang any longer, cut it in a half and post it. So it will miss a few parts some of you are waiting for, but don't worry it will come (the only question is when)! **

**Now enjoy the new chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

When Catherine came back to the lab, she was in a good mood. She and Greg had managed to process the scene really fast and they also had some leads in the case. It all looked simple and would only need some test-results to prove everything. While Greg brought the samples to Hodges and Wendy, Catherine went to her office to finish up some paperwork. There was nothing else to do until the results came back and Greg had wanted to run the fingerprints through the data-banks.

The blond hadn't even finished the first piece of paper as somebody knocked on her door. She looked up and saw Ecklie enter her office.

"Conrad, what can I do for you?" she asked.

"Catherine, I came to you, because I wanted to ask you a favour." He answered as he let himself sink into a chair in front of her desk.

The blond CSI took her glasses down and looked surprised at her boss. "What kind of favour?"

"Oh, nothing big." A light grin played around the corners of his mouth and Catherine raised an eyebrow questioningly.

The woman had the feeling that perhaps she couldn't like the outcome of this conversation.

Ecklie folded the hands in his lap. "Surprisingly Grissom approached me a few hours ago and requested to take most of his holidays immediately. I have no idea why, he only said it would be a personal matter." He paused for effect.

In the meantime Catherine went through different emotions once more. Her first thought was that something was wrong with Sara and Grissom wanted to stay with her. But if this would be the matter, wouldn't he have told them at least? He would, she knew him well and long enough to be sure about this. Putting these thoughts away, she focused on Conrad in front of her again.

"You know, Catherine, I'm fully aware of the fact that you are a good CSI. You have already done this job last year with good results and in this short time I can not find an outside replacement for Grissom. So I want you to do the job once more."

The blond stared at him. "Are you asking me, if I want to be supervisor of the graveyard-shift as long as Gil is away?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ecklie unfolded his hands in his lab. "I'm not only asking you, I order it. You are also the best choice. You know as much as I do, that we have a lack of people at the moment with Grissom and Sidle away. We have to work with the resources that we have. And it is my responsibility to make sure, that this office is still running as best as possible. And I believe that you are able to help me to make everything work." His works were full of sincerity.

Catherine couldn't help herself and feel flattered about his words and trust in her abilities. She hoped that everything wound go well while she had the command about the shift. Of course, she had wanted for a while to be a shifts supervisor, but her experiences a few years ago with the day-shift hadn't been the best and she was more than grateful as she had been able to work under Grissom's lead again. You had simply much less time for your private life as a supervisor and to spent time with her daughter was worth the trade. This now was something else. To replace Gil for a few days or weeks would be a nice challenge for her.

In fact she had no other choice, so she accepted the offer. As he had left her alone again, her thoughts went back to Gil, his reasons for leaving without a word and Sara. Looking on her watch, she noticed that it was still too early for a phone-call, but her inside ached to check on her co-worker. She hoped she would be able to restrain herself long enough until it would be a decent hour to call the brunette.

XXX

After crying herself to sleep, Sara had drifted in a dream. First it started all nice. She found herself on a beach with the warm sun shining on her body, looking out on the wide blue sea and feeling a light breeze on her face. It was all like a fairytale. Truly, she was enjoying herself on this beach.

But soon the surroundings began to change to a much unfriendly setting. The weather was changing; the sea began to raise itself up in the air and changed her colour from the first nice blue to an almost frightening dark. She wanted to run away from this place but her legs didn't move. She was standing at the spot like frozen. Slowly the water began to rise and flooded the whole beach. The sand changed into mud and slowly she found herself beginning to drown in the wet mess. Fear crept up inside of her and she started to scream for help. At first no word or tone came out. Finally her voice worked, but nobody heard her. The mud, which now had gotten a blood red colour and smelled like it too, had been rising to her nose as finally Sara woke and jerked up in her bed.

She sat on the mattress, sweet covering her forehead and breathing heavily. She tried to calm herself. The last thing she needed now was another panic attack. She stumbled out of the sheets and opened her bedroom-window. She needed some fresh air to clear her head.

Taking in one deep breath after another she was slowly getting calmer. She looked out into the slightly lit Las Vegas night. In this town it was never completely dark. The only exception would be an energy breakdown. But on nights with a clear sky you could be lucky on some parts of town and get a look on a few stars. Sara was one of these few people tonight. The small lights were glooming peacefully down from the sky and providing her new calmness.

But her little peace shouldn't last long. To blame were her ears, which picked up a sound down from the street. A simple car was making its way down the road. The driver must have been in a hurry, because he was going around the corner with squeaking wheels.

Sara jumped from the sound. Her heart rate was up to full speed again and she was breathing heavily. On her inner eye she was seeing herself lying under the car in the desert.

Tears were running down her cheeks as she slide down to the floor under the window.

Cold sweat was covering her forehead as the memory of this event was overwhelming the brunette. The fear she felt then was still present in her mind and when she was remembering it, she could still feel everything she felt then on her skin. It frightened her as hell and she wanted nothing else as somebody who would take away these feelings from her skin and would wipe away the memories from her brain, or who would help her to deal with this whole thing. Of course she had gotten help from a psychologist while she was in the hospital, but she hadn't been able to trust this man completely to tell him everything. She had hoped that Grissom would have helped her... But his behaviour wasn't what she was used to from him. He wasn't helpful, it was more painful to see him act so weird, so strange, around her. And after his visit today, she had no more hope to get any help from him in the near future. But she would need someone. It was hard for her to admit it, but she didn't believe an ymore, that she could handle everything by herself.

Her hopes were now resting on Catherine, but she hadn't even managed to pick her up today. How would she have time to help her with the big mess which was her life by now?

'_Who knows? Catherine has always managed to get the most complicate things working. And at last she has sent Sofia to the hospital and not let me hang without a clue, like Grissom did after his visit in the hospital. Perhaps she will come by tomorrow. I'll only have to get through the night.' _

These thoughts made her heart a bit lighter. She went back into bed, hoping that Catherine would be with her when she woke up again.

XXX

But sleep failed Sara. She was endlessly tossing and turning in her bed, her mind fully awake and active. Thoughts were running around in her head like horses with undying energy. On top of all this was that the brunette was jerking at the sound of every car which was going up or down the street. She could hear it all through the window and to close it was not an option. She had tried it a few times, but when she was lying in bed again, she had the feeling of a lack of air in the room. She needed the damn window open to breath. The situation was clearly unnerving and frustrating. And it wasn't helping Sara any bit with her fear.

When she closed her eyes her fear increased a degree. So she had been hoping for many hours that her eyes would close by themselves when she would be tiered enough. But this was now still a hope.

Sara turned once more and looked on the clock on her night stand once more. _'Unbelievable, it's __only 15 minutes later.' _The brunette let out a groan. She was tired, she thought she could sleep at least until 3 pm, when she would be able go to sleep.

"No, I doubt that I will get any sleep here tonight. I need to find a differed place for a few hours! But where?" Sara said to herself in her empty bedroom.

She was thinking about her options. The place needed to fit into the profile which her current condition had indicated. It must be a quiet place where she wouldn't be able to hear the cars any more, somewhere she felt safe and she would have air to breath.

Sara was going over different places in her head. Going to Grissom was definitely not on the list. Any other of her co-workers? Not really. They were all working now, possibly in the field, and not at home. But work made her think. The lab! The couch in the break-room had served her many times before for a nap. So she knew she was fully capable of sleeping on it. And if she was at last a bit lucky, nobody would disturb or even notice her there for a couple of hours.

Sara found that this was her best option. She got out of bed, put some closes on and called herself a cap.

XXX

Sara was standing outside on the street in front of the house and paced up and down on the sidewalk. She was waiting impatiently for the cap. Cars were passing by and every sound from them was much more frightening for her then she had ever imagined.

Despite of this she was freezing. And that was the strangest thing of her situation. The night in Las Vegas was as warm as every day but Sara felt cold from deep within her own self.

Too get a bit warmer, she wrapped her arms around her chest and continued walking. The most time her gaze was fixed on her own feet. But on every sound from the street she looked up.

Finally a cap pulled up in front of her. Sara reached for the door handle with a shaking hand. She opened the door, let herself fall gratefully into the seats and gave the driver the labs address.

The man behind the wheel took in her appearance with a raised eyebrow but speeded of with only a nod.

While he drove Sara forced herself to stay calm. She seemed to be much more successful then on her ride with Sofia earlier today. But cold sweet was slowly forming on her forehead again and pictures from herself in the desert were starting to play out on her inner eye once more.

They were only a couple of streets away from the lab when Sara couldn't take it any longer. She told the driver to stop immediately, tossed him an amount of bills as pay while she opened the door and stumbled out on the street.

While the taxi was speeding of, Sara stood on the sidewalk with her whole body shaking. She leaned on the next wall for support, closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to compose herself. Some minutes later she felt good enough to carry on to the lab.

The walk which would take under normal circumstances only five minutes took Sara almost twenty. She needed to pause after every few steps. When she finally arrived at her destination, she was much more then tired. Her legs felt shaky from exhaustion and to climb up the stairs to the labs entrance seemed to be beyond her abilities.

'_There is no way that this stairs are going to stop me right in front of my goal!'_ Sara thought as she looked up to the door in the expectancy of sweet sleep. Taking one deep breath she mobilised all her left energies and made her way up to the last barrier.

Sara was sighting happily as she had her hand on the door handle. The girl on the reception desk looked a bit stunned at her, but the phone's ringing saved Sara from any comments from her side. A smile was forming on the brunettes lips as she strolled down the corridors to the break-room on shaky legs. When she arrived there she was totally exhausted. She fell down with a thud on the couch and laid her tired head down. Her eyes were closing themselves on their own behalf and within no time the lanky woman had passed out to the long awaited dreamland.

XXX

This night Conrad Ecklie was everything else then a happy man. Not only Grissom's leave on short notice and CSI Sidle away on recovery where troubling his mind. These were by now only small problems lying on the edge of his mind, which he had been handing over to Willows to deal with. Others things were much more worse at the moment. While the graveyard-shift had been searching for Sidle around the clock, dayshift had been taking over the other cases for them. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, because every shift was helping the other one out from time to time when the times were bad and help was needed. The point now was that a couple of mistakes had been made this time. And after Ecklie had found out who had made them, it wasn't lighting up his mood either.

Dayshift had gotten two new CSI's in the last month and although both were very good in their job, working with great enthusiasm and also working good with the old team members, the new ones couldn't work together. They were always fighting with each other and while this was happening, mistakes were done at the same time. These guys had managed to screw up two cases in one night. This was a fact, that Ecklie couldn't ignore and the sheriff either. But one of the newbies was also the sheriff's niece and in case of this he couldn't really fire her.

So Ecklie was working on the problem but at the moment he wasn't able to come up with a solution. While he was on the way to the break-room to get himself a coffee, he was still thinking about this problem-CSI's. _'These two are a lot worse than Willows and Sidle were on their best days. At least this two didn't screw up the cases. They were also brilliant together then.' _he thought as he strolled over to the counter, fetching a cup and filling it with the hot black brew.

Sighting in frustration he leant against the counter and took the first sip. While he was staring blankly into the room, he suddenly got the feeling that something was different. Confused he looked around the place. Finally he spotted a sleeping figure on the couch, the face showing away from him. At first he was blinking in surprise, but then he recognised the person. _'Speak of the devil! This can't be true. Am I the leader of a monkey-circus, or why is everybody doing here what he wants?' _Ecklie was shaking his head.

Slowly he approached the occupied couch. Without thinking about what he was doing he shook the sleeping woman by her shoulder. "Sidle, wake up!" he said in a loud voice.

The brunette groaned groggily and slowly opened her eyes. At first she was a bit disorientated and blinked a few times to clear her vision, in the mean time her brain could remember where she was. _'Oh yes, I made it to the lab!' _But Sara's inner pleasure about her little personal victory couldn't last long, because she was looking into the face of a not amused Conrad Ecklie. There were definitely better ways to wake up.

The brunette forced a small smile on her face. "Hi."

Ecklie looked at her in disbelieve. "Sidle, what are you doing here?" he asked angrily.

Anger was also building up in the woman. It seemed to be obvious. "What does it look like? I'm trying to sleep." Didn't she deserve some like everybody else?

"Then go home and sleep in your bed!" was his answer, not even aware that he was pushing the right bottoms to get a good fight with her started.

Sara raised her voice. This couldn't be happening. She had put all her hopes and left energy in getting here and now this little bustard was telling her to go? No! "No I will stay!" She rose from the couch and was staring in her bosses face.

"You will go! You are on leave. You can't be here." Ecklie conquered.

"You see that I can." Sara shouted and folded her arms over her chest stubbornly.

"You'll go! At the moment you have no right to stay! You are not even supposed to be here!" he shouted back.

This ripped one of her wounds open. Sara felt how the memory of the last hours washed over her, giving her once more the feeling of a little child. Wasn't this here the place she had always considered as a safe one? A bit like a home? Slowly she was sinking back on the couch while tears welled up in her eyes. But the tears where not falling to the ground. Somebody had gathered the woman in her arms long before one was about to fall. A soft cotton shirt was soaking up the liquid.

**Thank you for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello my dear faithful readers,**

**it's very nice to see, that you are still with me on this journey! I was very happy about all the reviews I have gotten. Thank you all! **

**Also the issue about a beta-reader was brought to my attention and I have thought about it. I think it can only help me to improve my writing to have one. So if you are interested in being my beta-reader send me a PM, please. **

**Now enjoy the new chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Catherine was on the way back to her office. Hodges had paged her and the results he had have for her were exactly what she had guessed. More and more it was showing, that her first assumptions about the happenings were correct. A pleased smile was plastered on her lips as she strolled down the labs corridors.

Suddenly her ears were catching up some loud voices. _'Seems as if they are coming from the break-room.' _Curious about what was up, she made her way to the source of the noise. By now, she could make out the words and who they belonged to.

"You see, that I can." Screamed a voice Catherine knew so well. _'Oh my god! What is Sara doing here? Is something wrong?' _Strands of sorrow shadowed her mind for a second. But they were replaced by other emotions as she heard what Ecklie shouted back in the brunettes face.

"You'll go! At the moment you have no right to stay! You are not even supposed to be here!"

Those words were also a punch in her stomach. She considered as much as everybody else she worked with the lab as a second home, a place where she gathered and joked with her friends, with a part of her family.

She was staring at the effect that the words had on Sara and what she saw was ripping at her heart. Colour was draining from her face and she sunk on the sofa. Catherine could have sworn that she also saw tears glistening in her eyes.

Now she couldn't stand it any longer on her viewpoint. She walked in the room with long, powerful strides, shoved Ecklie out of her way and gathered the other woman in her arms. It didn't take a great amount of time until her guess from earlier was proven correct once more. She felt wetness on her shirt and the sobs which came from Sara completed the picture. _'Sometimes I hate it, when I'm right!'_ the blond thought as she was rubbing soothing patterns on the brunettes backside and murmured words of comfort.

"What's going on here?" asked a stunned Ecklie, who had never imagined such a reaction from the brunette CSI.

Catherine raised her head and looked at him. Strangely she had already forgotten that he was still in the room.

"I think it's the best if you go and let me handle this. You have already done enough damage here."

Ecklie looked at her dump folded. The sincerity in her voice was nothing he had expected. He blinked a few times while he pulled himself together. "Ok. I'll let you deal with this." He paused a moment and took the picture in. He had the feeling that the control in the lab was slipping out of his hands. This wasn't a situation he could accept so easily. His mind was working how he could get it back while he was retreading out of the break room. He had already reached the door as he got an idea and turned around once more. "Oh and Catherine, before I forget to tell you: I can't let you work with a team that's two people short. So from the next shift on you will have the pleasure to work with Julia Lomaker from dayshift. I'm sure she will be a great help for your team."

Catherine nodded, but she didn't like the light grin he was wearing on his face. Her gut also told her, that this girl meant trouble. But now she was forced to play his game. So she answered "Thank you, Conrad." with a little forced smile in his direction.

"No problem." He smiled back at her. His eyes rested once more on the brunette in the blonde's arms, who has gotten a lot calmer in the meantime. "Make sure she gets home safe." With that he disappeared and left the two women alone.

XXX

Catherine took a deep breath after Ecklie had left the room. _'As if I could need new problems now.'_ she thought about the changes for the next shift. She looked down at the brunette. Somehow it felt so right to hold her, but it was also strange to cradle the ever so strong and unbreakable Sara Sidle like a small child. _'What has happened to the woman I used to know? Where has she disappeared? Hell I would like to lean a bit onto her strength.' _She sighted frustrated.

As if she had read the blonds mind, Sara slowly raised her head from Catherine's shoulder and looked into her eyes. They were red from crying, but shone with a deep gratefulness.

"Thank you." Sara's voice was not much more than a whisper, but Catherine could hear it loud and clear.

"You're welcome." smiled the blond. She took the other woman's hand. "So Sara, tell me what brought you here? Can I help you with anything?"

The brunette sighted while she looked down on their linked hands. Somehow she had the feeling that these hands kept her grounded. "I need sleep."

Her voice sounded almost painful in Catherine's ears. "Are you having trouble with sleeping? Does something bother you?" This got her a nod.

"What is it, Sara? You can tell me, you know. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Everything you'll tell me will stay between you and me." Sincerity was evident in the blonds' voice.

Slowly Sara looked up and in her eyes again. "I'm having nightmares Catherine. They are holding me awake and make me afraid about closing my eyes. By now I neither feel save in my own bed. I came here, because it's like a second home for me and hoped I could catch a few hours. But Ecklie practically threw me out and..." Sara trailed off as tears once more welled up. She didn't need to speak out; the other woman already knew the rest of the story.

Catherine pulled the sobbing woman in an embrace and soothed her with whispered words. "Shhh, everything is fine, Sara. It's ok. I've got you."

After Sara had cried all her tears, she was slowly released from the embrace as reaction to the movements she had made. Surely she wanted to be released but the loss of the contact was something she regretted as soon as she had parted from the other woman.

Then something fascinating happened. Sara watched as a shyly looking Catherine was reaching out and carefully wiped the least remaining tears away from the brunettes' cheek with her thump. The touch was feather light and so soft. Sara was completely amazed about how much this simple gesture affected her. It touched her inside and gave her a warm feeling.

Sara felt her cheeks blush and looked away fast. She didn't saw that Catherine smiled at her. _'She is cute when she's blushing.' _the blond thought. But also sorrows were swirling around in her mind. With every second she watched the brunette they grow, so finally they were hesitantly spoken.

"Sara, why are you having nightmares?"

The brunette shrugged. She didn't really want to talk about it.

Catherine frowned. "Don't try to fool me or yourself. I know you long enough now so I can tell that you know the reason. Tell me Sara, please." She placed a reassuring hand upon one of the other CSI's. "I can't help you when you are not letting me in on the things that trouble you. Or don't you want me to help?" The last question was hushed in a low voice.

Sara's head shot up and she blinked in wonder, almost desperately. "How can you assume this? Catherine, I want your help. To be honest, I think I'll need your help much more than you can imagine."

The blonde stared back at her. At the moment she couldn't make real sense out of Sara's words what confused her, but it moved her deeply that Sara wanted her help.

Catherine was about to ask further questions about this issue as the break room was filled with two other persons. Captain Brass and Sofia walked in, in search for coffee. Their happy chatter died down the second they caught sight of the two women on the couch.

"Hey Sara, nice to see you! How are you, girl? I didn't know you are at work so soon again." Brass was the first to greet her. "I thought you have brought her home this morning." He said to Sofia in wonder.

The blond detective nodded. "I have. No idea why she's here. As far as I know she isn't working for another two weeks."

Sara sad on the couch in silence and watched the policemen talk. Meanwhile Catherine had enough of this kind of talk. "Hey guys, Sara is in the room! Why don't you talk with her instead of only about her?" she asked accusingly with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry" replayed both detectives. Brass scratched his head and looked at Sara. "So Sara, what brought you here? Can we help you with anything?"

Sara stared at them wordlessly for some more seconds until she pulled herself out of her state. "I only want to sleep." Her voice sounded exhausted.

"We can bring you home if you like. We are having no real case at the moment." Sofia offered.

Sara's grip on Catherine's hand tightened and they exchanged a look which told the other one everything she needed to know. None of the women on the couch noticed that Sofia picked up all nuances of this little scene. The blond raised an eyebrow and filled the information away in her head. Sofia was working on her own puzzle that was the relationship of the two CSI's and this piece was one more step to the goal.

"I don't think it's a good idea for Sara to be alone at the moment. I'll take care of her. She can sleep in my guest room." Catherine answered for the brunette.

"Ok. I'll do as you ask. I think I have something to make up." Sofia stated. She had noticed from the start of their talk, how terribly exhausted Sara looked and she had begun to question herself how much of this was her fault. Could she have changed anything if she had stayed with her friend? As longer she looked at her features as more she realised how right Catherine had been this morning. Her red eyes and the last little traces of tears on her cheeks was enough proof for her.

"Then let's get going." Brass hold one hand out to Sara to help her stand up. She gratefully took it and let the man's strength lift her up from the couch. Her legs felt a bit limp, but she was prevented from falling by the arm of her blond co-worker wrapping around her waist steadying her. Sara leant on her and squeezed the blonds arm in a thankful gesture for the support.

XXX

Outside Sofia hold the door of the car for the two CSI's open with a playful smile on her lips. "Ladies, is it still Catherine's home where I can drive you?" she asked with a little bow.

Catherine smiled back and nodded reassuringly. But Sara suddenly stopped in her movement. "You are driving, Sofia?" she asked in a low voice.

"Yes. It that a problem?" the blond raised a questioning eyebrow.

The brunettes' expressions looked uncomfortable. "Not really a problem, but..."

Sofia held a hand up and sighted. "Ok, that's all I need to know." She turned to Brass. "You are driving, Jim." He caught the keys she tossed him and walked over to the driver's side.

The women got into the car and buckled up while Brass started the ignition. They pulled out into the traffic, slowly driving to the Willows home.

Sara had let go of Catherine's hand and tried once more this day to occupy her mind with other things then her fear about the car. "Sofia, are you mad at me?" she asked carefully.

The blond detective turned around in her seat and looked at her in confusion. "How can you think that? Hell, Sara, I'm not mad at you. Why should I? About the driving thing? No way. I understand that you feel a bit uncomfortable about me driving a car since I drove you to witness a crash this morning. I suppose I would feel the same way, if I were out of the hospital for a couple of minutes and get to see this after all the things you have gone through."

Catherine smiles thankfully at the other blond. It was clear, that the detective had done a lot of thinking about Sara's reaction from the morning since their talk. The CSI had the feeling, that this was exactly what the brunette needed at the moment, somebody who understood her and acted like that.

Sara only nodded and let out a breath. Sofia's answer had soothed her nerves.

Just then the car drove over a bump in the street and shook the passengers. Sara gripped the door handle full force for support, her knuckles turning white. Catherine, who had pictured this reaction from the corner of her eye, took her other hand and stroke the hand's back with her thump.

The brunette shifted her gaze over to her co-worker, the grip on the handle losing a bit automatically. Their eyes locked and Catherine choose this moment, where she knew she had Sara's complete attention, to ask a question. "Can you tell me now what is troubling you so much?"

The brunettes' eyes slightly got glassy while all kinds of different emotions whirled around inside her. "How did you do it?" she blurted out suddenly. "Where did you get the strength to raise Lindsey on your own without doing everything wrong and being a good mother?" One single tear slide down her cheek as she looked at her co-worker hopefully. Sara needed to get some answers, something that helped her to deal with the fear she had about going to be a mother.

Catherine recognised the visibly fear on Sara's face. "I think I know what you are afraid of. I have gone through the same fears, you know." she answered in a low tone while whipping the tear away.

"Really?" asked Sara. She felt a but puzzled. Never had she imagined, that the strong Catherine Willows had had fears about her pregnancy. Yes she had sometimes seen Catherine being troubled about tsome bad news about Lindsey, or been worried as the divorce from her husband was going on. But she going through the same than she was now.....that was something that her mind needed time to deal with.

"Yes, really. I was having many fears when I heard that I was pregnant." The blond looked a little amused in the face of the other woman, who starred at her open mouthed.

"What? Did you think something else?" She squeezed the brunette's hand once more. "Sara, it is totally normal to be afraid of being a mother. Every woman is." She paused for emphasis and went on in a soft voice. "I can understand that it is getting hard to you after everything in the last time. Coming out of such a situation and then learning about being pregnant is very tough." She stroke Sara's hand softly. "If you want to talk about anything, have a question or need help with something, may it be at day or at night, you can come to me, ok?"

Sara nodded, still stunned about the words she had heard. But before she was able to say something, the car stopped in front of Catherine's house. The detectives got out and opened the door for them. The blond CSI still held her hand, then let it go as she got out too.

But Sara hesitated. Yes, she had been afraid about getting into the car. By now it had gotten to a place of safety towards her. The reason for this change in her feelings was now looking back inside and calling out to her. "Are you coming, or do you want to stay there for the rest of the night?", Catherine asked playfully, a smile gracing her lips.

Sara smiled lightly back and took the hand, that offered her help. She took it thankfully; her knees were still feeling like jelly.

Inside the air was nicely cooled. The brunette was sad down on the couch, were she closed her eyes for a moment, happy to have finally arrived at a place which perhaps could provide her some hours of peaceful sleep. But before there would still be to face some issues.

One had taken a seat opposite of her.

XXX

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**Thank you for reading!**


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